Eulogy
I wrote this for the 2007 NYC Vigil for the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.
I support every woman who feels like she had to kill a man
I support every woman who feels like she had to kill her man
Whether she did, or she didn’t
I support every person who feels like they had to kill a man
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
I support every ho who feels like she had to kill a man,
I support every wife who feels like she had to kill a man
I support every date who feels like he had to kill a man
I support every girlfriend who feels like she had to kill her man
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
Because after that, when they pick up the pieces of her, they never ask,
“What did he do?“ or “How much did she have to pick up every day to keep going?”
No.
I support every woman who feels like she had to kill a man because they say,
“What did she do? Why did she deserve this? What did she do? Why did she deserve this?”
What did she do? Why did she deserve this?”
I’m going to lift her up, all the pieces of her, and every time they make it her fault, hear this instead:
Everyone who has any kind of carnal knowledge is an outcast from our society that has legislated it’s religious morality.
See – if y know from fucking you are bad. If you’re a ho, your bad; if you’re a slut, you’re bad, if you’re a queer, you’re bad; if you know what is happening between your legs, well that’s all they want let you have, then: you have to choose between having the goodies or the goods.
Whether you do it for money, for fun, for entertainment, for lust – if you’re upfront about what it is you are exchanging for your sex, well you just don’t have the right shame.
And Lord knows, we ALL need more shame.
But I think the shame in this world has been misplaced. We should feel ashamed that the violence against folks who know what their bodies can do is a sensation, while the maintenance of bodily ignorance in classrooms is mandated.
We should feel ashamed that it’s easier to get a gun than it is to get safety from an abusive partner. But we should not feel ashamed about the people with this knowledge taking just revenge.
So, I support every woman who feels like she had to kill a man
I support every woman who feels like she had to kill her man
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
Whether she did, or she didn’t
I support every woman who feels like she had to kill a man
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
We should feel ashamed that almost 10% of women in this country don’t cum; that the ratio of dead hookers to jail time served by predators is 1:1; that our tax money is not spent on our safety, but on obliterating the lives of this generations’ soldiers overseas – so we should never feel ashamed about our money in cash and not paying taxes and fees.
I’m ashamed that prisons are a bigger industry than education, that alienating industry takes more time from our days than human interaction, and that the oldest industry of all is a combo of both, and it’s criminal – what do people think their shame-based marriages survive on, if it’s not a little something on the side?
If you had a real choice of your shame, would you pick the one that tells you your body is a tool that you should figure out how to use, no matter how much other people shame you, or the one that tells you your body is a curse, and to ignore it until somebody else tells you what to do with it. And we all know what happens then.
They’ll get to you, with their shame, their cameras, or worse.
Listen: I support every woman who feels like she had to kill a man because the knowledge of sex does not mean you deserved bad things to happen to you. It does not mean you deserve to catch a disease, get pregnant, to get date raped, stay silent, get murdered, have pieces of you put on the news to drive it home to the rest of the curious or to live in fear of what will happen to you if you tell, or the shame of others knowing.
On the contrary, the son of the god of these ruinous laws sat with whores as friends.
The son of the god of these ruinous laws sat with whores as friends.
And I will take no god, and no law, that does not do the same.
So, I support every woman who feels like she had to kill her man
I support every ho who feels like she had to kill a man
Whether she did, or she didn’t
For every time he got to her first, she deserves to be avenged.
I support every person who feels like they had to kill a man
Because more often than not, he got to her first.
