Youth Group, again.
You like some of the people at the group- otherwise youíd just throw fits when your mom tried to make you go. Some of them seem to actually get it--like the one Youth Leader, Shawn. He is a genuine guy, even though he is a lawyer; he listens to you and will let you win at pool, just to make you feel good. You arrive at group one night finding everyone all morose and the big deal is this: Shawn died today from a brain tumor (found posthumously).
His wife and 18-month-old kid are probably screwed for money, and somehow the Leaders are trying to explain to you how this was all just part of god's plan for their lives, while dealing with their own grief. You realize that is bullshit. No one, good entity controls our fates; nothing is working in our favor. Obviously. Now, instead of good-natured push up contests—which he always won because he could do a hundred on one arm—and godly, not homoerotic, roughhousing, his wife and kid are fucked, and there’s really no good reason for it. Nada. God’s supposed to have some excellent plan – but where is it?
You must look supremely disturbed for the next few weeks at youth group, because about a month later another Leader, Bill, sits you down and asks, “What’s up? Everyting ok?” all chatty as if he’s gonna get the big abusive secret out of you. Too late, everyone here knows all about that anyway. You know that this overfriendliness is adult slang for, ‘Is your mom still broke? Is your dad still hitting you? Did you get less than an A somehow?’ You decide to tell him a bit about where you're at.
“Remember Sean?” No one had forgotten Sean. Bill nods and you continue, “Well, if Sean can die like he did, what does that mean about good people and life? He was so nice to his wife, and so good for his kid...I even liked him, and he just up and died!"
"There's no explanation for God's plan for our lives. Even when we don't like it, we just have to trust Him." Your internal bullshit alarm is going off, so you make like you agree.
After being consoled, you wander back over to the group, who is again singing together. Something creaky has been oiled in your brain.
Go against your better judgement and go on a group outing to a local waterpark.
Go make some other friends.
